Got a Girlfriend?
by Durbe the Barian
Summary: So Rei never dated in high school. So he never thought about it when he was in the police academy. That didn't give people reason to barrage him with the question, "Got a girlfriend yet?"


**Detective Conan**

**Got a Girlfriend?**

**Humor**

**Rei Furuya/Scotch/Date/Masumi**

**So Rei never dated in high school. So he never thought about it when he was in the police academy. That didn't give people reason to barrage him with the question, "Got a girlfriend yet?"**

**(Oh, if I own Case Closed, things would be WAY too obvious.)**

* * *

Got a Girlfriend?

* * *

"Come on, Rei-kun," Date whined. "Can't you pull your head out of that newspaper for at least two seconds?"

The blond-haired police student pulled the newspaper in question away from his face. Just as he had thought, Date was busy stuffing his face with his breakfast when he had requested that Rei move the newspaper. A sigh escaped him as he looked back at the case he was reading. "You do know that it is poor manners to speak with your mouth full, correct?" he asked.

"Yeah," Date admitted, swallowing what was in his mouth. "I also know that it's bad manners to read at the table."

Rei cast Date a sidelong glance. "Touché," he said, folding up the paper and setting it aside. "Sorry, but the case I was reading was rather interesting, so I guess I forgot my manners for a minute."

Then Date sighed. "Honestly, you're a major detective geek," he said. "Probably the worst I've ever seen."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rei asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

Date chuckled. "You were reading another case solved by Kogoro Mouri again, right?" he asked.

Rei paused.

"Called it," Date laughed.

"You do realize we're in a restaurant, right?" Rei asked, looking around uneasily as Date's laugh increased.

At the sound of the word 'restaurant,' Date calmed himself down. "You're right," he said. "Sorry about that. But honestly, you** are** a detective geek. You can't deny that."

"You're starting to sound like my siblings," Rei sighed, propping his head up with the heel of his palm.

"Your siblings?" Date asked, hesitating greatly. "You...have siblings?"

"Hmm?" went Rei. "Oh, that's right. I never told you about them, did I?"

At the sight of Date's frozen face, he chose to believe that he hadn't mentioned them. He sighed again before speaking up. "I have two siblings," he said. "A brother that I haven't spoken to in ages and a sister that I haven't called in about a month."

"Do you have a picture?"

"Of who?"

"You know."

Rei did not like the tone of voice Date was using. He sounded way too happy.

"Your brother, your sister, your folks," Date paused; "your girlfriend?"

Rei grumbled a little bit. "I have one," he said, pulling his wallet out of his pocket, mentally adding, "Let's see what he thinks when he sees this."

He then pulled a picture out of his wallet and pushed it across the table to Date, with his friend picking it up as quickly as he could lay eyes on it.

A picture of someone young with wavy, unkempt, black hair and dark – almost greenish – eyes and an uneven tooth poking out through their grin.

Date examined the photo for a moment before speaking.

"Your brother looks a little cute, for some strange reason."

Rei had to fight off the urge to laugh. "That's my sister," he said.

Date didn't know whether to laugh or to yell at Rei's words. After a bit of thinking, he chose the latter.

His surprised yell was heard all throughout the restaurant, prompting just about everybody to look at them.

"I had a feeling you'd react that way," Rei said nonchalantly. "You're not the first to think she's a boy. She gets it in school a lot."

"You've got to be kidding," Date said. "How does she live with kids mistaking her like that?"

"Unfortunately, I don't know myself," Rei said, taking a sip of his coffee.

Then he mentally added, "Though I have a strange hunch that she's taking it the same way I did when kids teased me about my hair." ←[Violently.]

After about two or three minutes of silence, Date returned the photo. "You know, you gotta get a girlfriend."

"Eh?" went Rei, taking the photo from his friend. "What brought that up-"

"I mean it, Rei-kun," Date said. "You need to get a girlfriend. I can introduce you to Natalie, if you want."

"You're planning on introducing me to your own girlfriend?" Rei asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah," Date answered. "She's been wanting to meet you for ages and she can bring one of her girlfriends with her-"

"Stop right there, Date," Rei said. "I have told you before, I have no desire to get a girlfriend right now."

"You've got to be kidding me," Date huffed. "I've even had the perfect murder all planned out too. You meet Natalie, admit that she's hot, start going out with her, maybe start liking her, I get jealous, and create the perfect murder."

"Please stop talking like that," Rei said. "You freak me out when you do that."

"You know I'm just messing with you, right?"

"I certainly hope so."

"But seriously, you're a young, spry guy with big goals and a great heart. You're great at tennis, you're the ultimate detective, and all the girls love you. You can't tell me that you haven't even thought about getting a girlfriend and settling down with a family."

"Alright, I won't," Rei said.

"You honestly never thought about it?"

"You told me not to say it."

"Then what did you do in high school?!"

"Solved puzzles and rejected love letters."

"Ugh," went Date, falling against the back of his chair. "You're absolutely hopeless. I might just have to call that Kogoro guy that you enjoy reading about so much and have him solve the case of your love life."

"Don't even think about it," Rei growled, gently smacking his friend over the head with the rolled-up newspaper.

"You can't deny that you're in a bad situation, Rei-kun," Date said. "The only picture of a girl you have in your wallet is your sister, isn't it?"

"She claimed that I'm a doting brother," Rei answered. "So I try not to show it to anybody."

"Then why do you even have the picture in your wallet?"

"Because she sent me the photo through the mail and I didn't want to throw it out."

"You** are** a doting brother."

"If you say so."

"That settles it. You need a girlfriend. If you want, I can introduce you to Natalie-"

"Didn't we just go through with this?" Rei asked, a little more growl seeping out of his throat.

* * *

(During his early years in the Black Organization.)

"So, Rei," Scotch began, "how is your dating situation?"

"Nonexistent, just as it was the last time you asked, Dad," Rei sighed, falling against the bench the two were sitting on at the park.

"That was a year ago," Scotch said. "I had hoped that things would have changed by now."

"Out of luck there, Dad," Rei huffed. "Why are you even so concerned about my dating situation anyway? You're as bad as Mom in that department."

"Well, your brother called me recently and said he has a girlfriend now and your sister is interested in a boy at her school. I can't help but feel worried that you'll be the only one who won't walk down the aisle someday."

"First, I don't approve of Shuichi's dating Akemi," Rei growled. "Second, Ma-chan may be interested in a boy, but you know that she won't date anybody who can't beat her in Jeet Kun Do."

"Regardless, I worry for you, Rei. Do you really want to remain a bachelor? I can tell you right now, it's a lonely experience."

"I don't want to remain a bachelor, Dad," Rei sighed. "But I don't plan on dating anybody right now."

Just then, his phone vibrated, prompting Rei to pull it out of his pocket, saying, "One moment."

It was just another text message that he couldn't answer.

From Wataru Date.

Subject: You Know.

"**Hey, Buddy. Haven't heard from you in a while. What's the matter? Something up? Have you finally found a girlfriend?**"

Before he could read anything more, he closed his phone and sighed.

"Looks like I'm not the only one talking to you about the girlfriend matter," Scotch said, almost mockingly.

"Please, Dad," Rei sighed in near defeat.

"Oh, hang on," Scotch said. "Was that text from Date-san?"

"Yeah, that was him."

"Then perhaps, the next time you reply, would you be so kind as to thank him for me?"

"For what?"

To answer, Scotch pulled out his own phone and went through his photos. When he found the one he was looking for, he nodded and turned his phone so Rei could see it. "I have to admit that this is a rather enjoyable picture," Scotch said.

Then Rei deadpanned.

It was a picture of Date's big, "**Graduation from Police School,**" celebration. Date himself was clearly drunk in the picture, but Rei was sound asleep with his head against the table. To make things absolutely embarrassing for the young detective, Date had put a party hat on Rei's head and drew on his face.

"Date," Rei mentally growled, clenching his fist.

"So the next time you text him, please give him my thanks," Scotch said.

"Hang on," Rei said. "How did Date get your phone number? He'd need it to send you a picture like that, right?"

"He would," Scotch admitted, "but he used your phone to take the picture and send it to mine."

"So **that's** where that stupid 'sent' message came from!"

"But really, you should consider finding yourself a girlfriend," Scotch said, returning back to the subject at hand. "If you continue to live like this, Date-san will continue to egg you on. Eventually, even your brother will start up and possibly even your sister."

"Ma-chan wouldn't do something like that," Rei sighed. "She's not the type to worry about someone's romantic life."

"How much would you like to bet on that?" Scotch asked.

* * *

(Present time. Break time at the Poirot.)

Rei – or Tooru, as he was called – felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. "Hmm?" went he, pulling the phone out of his pocket. "What is it?"

A text message.

From Sera Masumi.

"Hmm. Why would Ma-chan send me a message at this hour? She didn't get involved in another case, I hope."

He then opened up the message and read it.

"**Hey, Brother! How's everything going!? Did you finally find a girlfriend!?**"

There, Tooru slammed his head against the counter, his phone over his head as a result. "Ma-chan! Not you too!"

"Um...Amuro-san?"

That was Azusa. Great. Just great.

Bringing himself to sit up again, Tooru then looked over to his co-worker. Her hand was up against her face, her eyes directed to the phone in Tooru's hand.

"Uh...Azusa-san?" Tooru asked uneasily.

"Amuro-san...do you...really not have a girlfriend?"

If Tooru had the strength of will to let himself fall to the ground, he most certainly would have done so. Unfortunately, his reflexes were still as strong as they should have been, and he caught himself on the counter in the nick of time.

"I never thought that a man your age wouldn't be seeing someone," Azusa continued. "Especially seeing as how you're so handsome and all."

"Oh, Azusa-san," Tooru thought. "You're getting on my case too?"

"Why don't you just marry Azusa-chan, Tooru-kun?" the Master asked from the kitchen. "You'd make a pretty good couple."

"I'm going to get back to work," Tooru sighed, pulling himself away from the counter.

"I thought you were still on your break," Azusa said.

"I'm actually ready to get back to work."

* * *

**D.T.B: Yeah. Crazy, right? Blame my sister and myself. You'd be amazed what happens when two goofs brainstorm. XD Please review.**


End file.
